Fishscale
by SoldierG65434-2
Summary: Soifon is an adult, capable of making her own decisions, regardless of who disapproves.


**DISCLAIMER:** The rights to all copyrighted material mention henceforth in this document are owned by their respective owners.

This is a heavily revised version of a previous piece of mine, "Fish."

I always found it odd that Kubo made a point to make sure that we knew that Soifon liked fish but not meat. This little bit of information could be taken several ways. The first is at face value. But "fish" has several meanings. "Fish" is slang for vagina. I've always used this little bit of information as evidence of Soifon sexuality. But "fish" is also slang for cocaine, and one of the dark recesses of my mind has always entertained the thought that Kubo meant that Soifon does cocaine.

This version is far "angstyer" than the previous version, and may indeed be my first straight angst fic. No happy endings here.

To all of you who reviewed the original "Fish" and said that you couldn't se Soifon doing this, I understand where you are coming from, but you also have to understand that recreational drug use was not uncommon among the higher rungs of feudal eastern societies, and Soifon in a noble.

* * *

"Taicho!" An officer of the Second Division knelt in front of the stern, petite woman that was Soifon.

"What is it?" Soifon asked irritably.

"Several Hollows have been reported in West Rukongai and…" The man began to report.

"Why are you telling me this?" Soifon asked, agitated.

"I did not want to take any action that was not…" The officer began again before he was interrupted.

"You are an officer. These types of affairs are well within your jurisdiction." Soifon said dismissively. "You do not need my authorization to kill a few Hollows."

"Yes, Taicho." The man apologized and disappeared. Scowling, Soifon continued on her way.

"Soifon-taicho!" Omeada came running up to the small woman.

"What is it now?" Soifon asked, half-angrily and half-whining.

"Several of the new recruits were injured in today's training exercise and…" Omeada reported, panicked. Soifon simply shock her head.

"When we're injured, where do we go?' Soifon asked condescendingly.

"Th…The Fourth, Taicho." Omeada stuttered.

"And if we can't make it there, what do we do?" Soifon glared.

"We send for a medic." Omeada replied.

"Now, take that information and prove to me that your problem solving skills are greater than that of a marmoset." Omeada left hurriedly. In an effort to soothe her troubled mind, Soifon began to gently rub her temples as she walked along the causeway.

Today was turning out to be one of "those" days, "those" being a word that indicated a day of particular hardship that was deserving of some reward at the end. Yesterday had been one of "those" days as well, and while the day before had not, Soifon had seen it fit to indulge herself in compensation for a job well done.

Wishing that the day would end so that she could retire to her quarters in peace, Soifon walked towards her office to finish some paper work before the evening.

"Heya Soifon!" Soifon nearly jumped out of her skin at the unexpected sound of Yoruichi's voice.

"Yoruichi," Soifon grunted after regaining herself. Yoruichi frowned at the frosty response.

_The last person I wanted to see_, Soifon though bitterly.

Ever since their "reunion" during the Ryoka Incident, Yoruichi seemed to be of the mind that everything had returned to normal between them. She regularly appeared in the Second Division and Onmitsukido as if she were a welcome guest and interfered with Soifon's administration of the two divisions.

Yoruichi was sorely mistaken, however. Her company was far from welcome or wanted. After the sudden burst of emotion after their fight, Soifon's feelings of animosity towards her former mistress returned full force, but now, the reasons were different.

Yoruichi simply would not tell Soifon why she didn't take her with her. The first time Soifon asked, after their fight, Aizen had interrupted. Soifon had inquired several times since then, but Yoruichi always dodged the question. "You're busy, we'll talk later," she would say dismissively.

It was infuriating. It showed a complete lack of respect on Yoruichi's part and an unwillingness to acknowledge that Soifon had grown.

"What are you doing here?" Soifon asked coldly. Even though Yoruichi was the last person Soifon wanted to see, she was also the only person wanted to be around.

Soifon never actually hated Yoruichi. She had been angry with her and felt personally betrayed by the woman, but she had never hated her. Simply put, hating Yoruichi meant that she was alive. Soifon was deathly afraid that Yoruichi had died, so she choose to hate her and train to capture her, because you can't apprehend a dead woman.

Soifon was sure that there was a good reason for her leaving. Even if Yoruichi only left to save _him_, it still meant it was a flight of sacrifice, not of indulgence. If only she would answer that simple question, then her sins could be absolved and perhaps things would change between them.

"I was wondering if you were doing anything." Yoruichi asked innocently.

"I am the head of two divisions. I am always doing something." Soifon replied sternly hoping that Yoruichi would get the message that her presence was not wanted.

"But you're not always so busy that I can't hang around for a bit." Yoruichi smiled.

"Do what you will." Soifon waved and headed to her quarters, which doubled as her office. Yoruichi followed quickly behind her.

* * *

Soifon tapped her foot irritable as she listened to Yoruichi rattle on about things that she didn't really care about. She looked down at the papers at her desk and pretended to work on them, hoping that the woman sitting on the couch across the room as if she owned it would receive the message that her company was no longer welcome.

Soifon had abided the intrusion in the hopes that Yoruichi had wanted to talk about more important matters, such as the ones surrounding her disappearance, but instead she spent her time recounting stories from her time in the World of the Living.

Her day had been stressful enough as it is, the last thing Soifon needed was to hear about Yoruichi's misadventures with _him._

"It's getting late," Soifon interrupted a story about some place called Panama through gritted teeth. "Shouldn't you be returning to The World of the Living?"

_To him._ Soifon ended in her head bitterly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Yoruichi sighed as she stood up, stretching her long, graceful limbs. Though her care free demeanor didn't belay it, Yoruichi knew that something was wrong with Soifon. She was a lot more snappish than usual, in much the same manner as someone who is being constantly interrupted. She was tapping her foot ceaselessly and Yoruichi could hear her grinding her teeth.

Soifon's behavior was disturbing, to say the least, but Yoruichi didn't approach the matter. Their relationship was still shaky at its strongest points, so she didn't want to jeopardize what little there was left of it.

Though Soifon didn't realize it, Yoruichi's flight had hit the brown-skinned woman hard. About a year into her exile, Yoruichi broke down unexpectedly when her thoughts drifted to a certain timid bodyguard.

The realization that Yoruichi might never see Soifon again felt like a kick to the chest, but what followed was even more startling. It wasn't the same dull pain that she felt when she thought about never seeing Kukaku's fireworks again, or never again listening to Unohana's advice. The gaping hole in Yoruichi's chest that she felt upon realizing that she may never see those gray eyes again could only mean one thing.

She had developed feelings for Soifon.

And that was why she was sitting in that very same woman's room. Since their reunion, Yoruichi had stopped by every single chance she had gotten in an effort to clear the air between them. Yet, every time she approached the matter, she lost her nerve. All she could think about was that broken woman, kneeling before her, crying, and that desperate question.

_Why didn't you take me with you?_

The more Yoruichi thought about it, the more she realized that there wasn't a good answer. Soifon was the most capable soldier under Yoruichi's command at the time, and her assistance would have expedited the whole process. And Yoruichi knew that Soifon would have absolutely been willing to help. She hung on every word the Goddess said.

And it wasn't like it would have been unfair to her. A decade in, Urahara built another underground training area, so Yoruichi could have continued Soifon's training. In fact, with time constraints that being a member of the Gotie 13 entailed removeed, Soifon would have probably surpassed her current state.

Taking her would have also meant that she was safe, in a manner of speaking. Yoruichi couldn't count the number of nights she had lost sleep because she was too worried that Soifon had started to get suspicious of Aizen and started to investigate him. Yoruichi had no doubt that Aizen wouldn't have hesitated to kill her if she learned too much, and Kyoka Suigetsu would have ensured that absolutely no one would have found out.

The only reason Yoruichi could think of was time. Things had transpired so fast that she simply hadn't had time to think of seeking Soifon's help, and Yoruichi knew that "I forgot" wouldn't be an acceptable answer to the burning question.

So Yoruichi understood that Soifon didn't exactly want to see her now, but she also couldn't shake the feeling that there was something very wrong with her behavior. The verbal and non-verbal cues Soifon was sending suggested that it was more than mere agitation. It was as if Soifon was waiting for her to leave so she could do something that she didn't want her to see.

"I'll see you later." Yoruichi waved to her former pupil. There was no response from Soifon. Silently, Yoruichi slid the shoji shut behind her. Breathing an audible sigh of relief, Soifon slumped back in her chair.

Standing up, Soifon walked to her closet and removed a hinged oak box about a foot square from under one of the floor boards. The box was of fine craftsmanship. The liquor gleamed in the light and the hinges pivoted silently.

Every person had their vice. Kyoraku had his wine and women and it wasn't hard to tell that Ukitake's unflappable amicability had more to do with the medication for his tuberculosis than anything innate within the man. Soifon's vice lay within the fine oak box in her hands.

Returning to her desk, she lifted the lid of the box and examined its contents. She removed the large mirrored plate from the top and placed it on her desk carefully. Underneath the mirror were several compartments. Inside each one was a small transparent bag filled with a fine yellowish-white powder.

Soifon removed one of the bags and examined it. Inside was the highest grade cocaine available in all of Rukongai. This particular variety was colloquially known as "fishscale," due to the fact that it was flakier than the traditional pure white powder that most envisioned cocaine to be.

Soifon had first been exposed to the substance while on guard duty at the Maggot's Nests. It was shortly after Yoruichi left, and everyone could tell that the betrayal cut Soifon deeply. One of the older guards, who was being bribed by the criminals to traffic contraband, offered it to Soifon as a little "pick me up." All she had to do was sniff. Soifon was still relatively young, so she didn't know any better. All she knew was that she liked the way that powder made her feel.

And she had been using ever since. Fortunately, her schedule prevented the consistent use that begot a full blown addiction, but Soifon used the substance far more often than she probable would have liked to admit.

Untying the tie on the bag, Soifon emptied the contents onto the mirrored plate. Through years of experience, Soifon had learned the precise amount to use so that she achieved the optimal high.

Reaching inside another compartment in the box, Soifon removed a stainless steel hollow tube and a small blade. Inhalation was the quickest and most potent way to administer cocaine, and Shinigami physiology was much more hardy than human, so she didn't have to worry about the adverse side effects that the method had.

Taking the blade in her hand, Soifon began to chop at the powder, separating in into thin lines about four inches long. There was a window behind Soifon's desk and to the right, and she could see the setting sun reflecting on the polished glass in front of her.

Little did Soifon know that through that vary same window, Yoruichi was watching her from several roof tops away. Years as an intelligence agent had conditioned her to be wary of suspicious behavior, and Soifon's behavior that day certainly qualified as suspicious. She hadn't even fathomed that she would observe the sight she was currently watching.

Seeing Soifon lower her head to the desk, Yoruichi bolted for the woman.

"What are you doing, Soifon?" Yoruichi asked rhetorically as she climbed through the window. Soifon turned abruptly, removing the steel tube from her nostril as she did so.

"What the hell are you still doing here?" Soifon snapped, dropping all pretenses.

"I was worried about you, so I hung around to find out what was up." Yoruichi crossed her arms.

"You were spying on me?" Soifon bit back.

"And it looks like I had good reason to." Yoruichi pointed to the fine off-white lines on the glass. "What are you doing, Soifon?" She asked sadly.

"What I do in my free time is none of your concern!" Soifon retorted angrily.

"Is this why you were so desperate to get me to leave?" Yoruichi walked over to the box and picked one of one of the bags. "Don't you know what this stuff does to you?" Yoruichi hoped that she didn't sound too much like an after-school special.

Yoruichi vehemently opposed any mind altering substance. She had verbally and physically accosted Urahara when she found out that he regularly smoked marijuana and spent decades convincing Kukaku to give up her opium habit. Yoruichi was beginning to believe that she was the only one not one something.

"I know perfectly well what it does, which is why I was going to use it." Soifon glared unfalteringly.

"You're the Command-in-Chief of the Onmitsukido and the Captain of Second Division," Yoruichi barked commandingly. "Do you really think it's responsible of you to spend you free time snorting blow?"

"I've already made the proper arrangements." Soifon folded her arms. "I've finished up all of my obligations for the day. The rest of the time in the day is my own to use _how I will."_ Soifon emphasized the last part.

"What if there was an emergency and your Lieutenant came in here looking for you and found you tripping out." Yoruichi countered.

"There is a system in place. I would only get involved if my lower officers couldn't handle it." Soifon gritted her teeth.

"Please Soifon," Yoruichi pleaded. "You need to stop this stuff. It isn't healthy, it isn't safe."

"I am an adult. I am free to make my own choices. You are no longer the head of your House or a Captain of the Gotie 13. You have no authority, no right, to interfere with my personal habits." Soifon glared.

"I'm not asking you as your superior, I'm asking you as your friend." Yoruichi pleaded in a last ditch effort. Soifon faltered for a moment, but soon regained her footing.

"You abandoned me for a century, and then you return as if nothing happened, refusing to give me a reason as to why you left and you have the gall to call yourself my friend?" Soifon stood up behind her desk, her fists clenched. "I gave you everything! My loyalty, my life, my heart! And you spat on all of it! And you won't even tell me why!" Soifon nearly screamed. "Do you think me too fragile handle your motives? Or do you just not value me enough to bother explaining them?"

Yoruichi stared at Soifon, slacked jawed in surprise. She tried to formulate a response, but her mouth was too dry for words.

"Just…leave me be." Soifon ended sadly, slumping down in her chair. "It's what you're good at, anyway." She mumbled almost inaudibly.

Yoruichi's face contorted in a mixture of sadness and regret. Any anger she felt at Soifon because of the contents of the bag in her hand evaporated. Throwing the small bag at Soifon remorsefully, almost apologetically, Yoruichi left the room sadly, Soifon's last words still stinging.

Yoruichi trudged towards the Senkaimon, feeling as a rug had been pulled out from under her. Was this what all of her hesitation and procrastination has caused? Was this the result of all of her fears of rejection?

_Is this what I've done to you? _Yoruichi though sadly as she stepped though the gate to the other plane of existence, debating in her mind whether it would be best if she just disappeared from Soifon's life again before she caused even more damage.

Satisfied that she could no longer sense Yoruichi's presence, Soifon looked down at the white lines on the mirrored plate on her desk. Now, more than before, she needed something to make the pain and loneliness go away. She needed something to feel alive again. She needed something to make her forget.

_If only for a little while_, Soifon though sadly as she lowered the tub in her nostril to one of the fine white lines and inhaled deeply.


End file.
